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Impractical Jokes
Impractical Jokes is the twelfth episode of the first season. Plot Matt and Tanya wander into Shining Time Station to find it seemingly empty. Suddenly they hear Stacy’s voice coming from under the ticket counter, imploring something to work. Matt greets his aunt, and Stacy sticks her hand up to wave at Matt. She tells Matt that she hasn’t seen Tanya, not realizing Tanya is standing right next to him! Stacy finally stands up and explains to the children that she’s been trying to fix the old telegraph sitting on the counter. It won’t send or receive messages, but makes plenty of noises. Stacy continues that there aren’t many telegraphs left on the Indian Valley Railroad and she’ll be glad when all of them are replaced. Matt and Tanya offer to help but Stacy insists on fixing the telegraph herself and shoos the kids away. Matt and Tanya dejectedly head over to the Arcade, saying to themselves that they only wanted to help. Just then Mr. Conductor appears, dressed in shorts and carrying a tennis racquet. He says they aren’t the problem, rather Stacy is and explains that sometimes busy people don’t think about what they’re saying. Matt asks if that means Stacy wasn’t mad at them, which Mr. Conductor confirms, explaining that Stacy’s mind was simply on something else and that’s no reason for the children to be upset. He adds that it is something friends learn to accept in one another. Tanya asks if it’s the same with the engines on the Island of Sodor and Mr. Conductor asks if he’s ever told them about the time Gordon teased Edward about the cows. The kids shake their heads, so Mr. Conductor pulls out his whistle and tells the story. Edward is feeling his age, clanking loudly as he goes about his work. While delivering cattle trucks to market, his noisy train startles a herd of cows, which charge the train and break the couplings, causing some trucks to be left behind. Gordon and Henry laugh and boast about Edward’s predicament; until one day both engines encounter Bluebell, a mournful cow, wandering on a bridge, searching for her lost calf. No matter what they or their crews try to shoo her away, Henry and Gordon become nervous around such a delicate animal. Eventually, Percy brings the lost calf to her mother, and the engines are able to leave once Bluebell and her calf are led away. But once word gets round, Gordon tries to turn the situation around for Edward – but the old engine knows what truly happened…! Afterward, Matt mentions that Gordon always seems to think he’s so great. Mr. Conductor says that’s just the way Gordon is; it doesn’t mean the other engines don’t like him. He then announces that he’s off to play in the Dillylick Tennis Tournament and disappears. Matt and Tanya bid Mr. Conductor good bye and find Stacy, who is now in a better mood. She hasn’t been able to fix the telegraph and has decided to let Harry try. Tanya asks why the telegraph is important and Stacy explains that it’s what train stations use to communicate with each other. She adds that the method of communication is wonderful, using a secret language of dots and dashes. She demonstrates by tapping out Matt’s name on the Information Desk. Matt is surprised that people can understand dots and dashes, and Stacy adds that it’s done all over the world, even on ships like the one on the station’s mural. Just then, Schemer comes in. He’s dressed very smartly in a dinner jacket and is affecting a very cultured manner of speaking. He politely introduces himself to Stacy and kisses her hand. Stacy and the children are dumbfounded, with Tanya asking Schemer if he’s feeling all right. He professes not to know who this “Schemer” is, although he knows he’s a wonderful fellow! Schemer then offers Matt a toy telescope, which Matt takes and goes off to look through. Schemer then offers Stacy a snack of some delicious peanuts. Stacy opens the jar and some spring snakes come flying out instead! Stacy is not amused, and Schemer drops his act to explain that this is his new entrepreneurial endeavor, selling practical jokes. Stacy tells Schemer that she never liked practical jokes and considers them mean. Schemer counters that of course they’re mean, that's the point. Dismissing the girls’ opinion, Schemer turns to Matt, who now has a black ring around his eye from the trick telescope. Schemer thinks it’s hilarious, but Matt can only respond with a single, deadpan “yuck.” Schemer gets offended at this, declaring that Stacy, Matt and Tanya don’t know what funny is. However he considers that funny in itself as he takes his pranks and leaves. Once Schemer is gone, Matt and Tanya express their opinion of how weird he is. Stacy says that Schemer is harmless and usually makes them laugh, so it’s best to accept him as he is. Matt asks if they have to, and Stacy adds that when you get to know people, you have to take the bad with the good. Mr. Conductor reappears and comments that a good thing about Schemer is when he has an idea he isn’t afraid to try it out. Tanya says that Schemer can be such a pain though and Stacy admits that Schemer doesn’t stop to think about how others will feel about his ideas. Matt asks what they should do, and Stacy says they will just have to put up with him. Mr. Conductor offers his opinion that practical jokes are silly and can happen in unusual ways. Mr. Conductor then directs the children to the Anything Tunnel, which shows a brief animated interlude featuring an art patron dealing with some rather strange portraits. By the time the children are finished looking through the tunnel, Mr. Conductor has disappeared and Stacy comes in complaining that the West Wind Limited has just arrived early and the telegraph couldn’t warn her. Harry also comes in and is greeted with a hug from Tanya. Harry reveals that he met an old friend on the train who has decided to stop and say hello. Harry introduces Matt, Tanya and Stacy to Tom Callinan before he and Stacy go off to look at the telegraph. Tanya asks Tom if he works on the railroad. Tom admits that he doesn’t, but he does sing songs about the railroad. He teaches Matt and Tanya an old Irish working song before going back out to the platform to wait for his train. Meanwhile, Stacy and Harry are in the workshop trying to repair the telegraph. They get increasingly annoyed with one another as Matt and Tanya worriedly look on. Mr. Conductor returns and the children tell him Stacy and Harry are fighting. Mr. Conductor clarifies that they’re just disagreeing and will make up before too long. Tanya eagerly asks how the tennis tournament went. Mr. Conductor sadly says that he won; he couldn’t lose because no one else showed up to play! Matt consoles Mr. Conductor by saying there will be another tennis tournament someday. Mr. Conductor decides to cheer himself up by telling Matt and Tanya about James’ adventure when he found himself without his driver. After one delay too many, James complains about Edward being too old and slow, marking him as “old iron”, but Thomas and Percy reckon Edward could beat James in a race anyway. This is put to the test when, one day, naughty boys fiddle with James’ controls, sending the red engine down the line without his Driver or Fireman. A brave Inspector decides to pursue after the runaway in Edward, who eventually catches up to James and stop him just in time. James apologies to Edward and the Fat Controller, proud of his heroic deed, sends Edward to have his worn parts mended. Once Mr. Conductor has finished the story, all three of them feel much better. Then Stacy and Harry bring the telegraph out of the workshop so Harry can check the connection, despite Stacy telling him she’s already done that. The children suddenly get the idea that Mr. Conductor should use his magic to fix the telegraph, but Mr. Conductor refuses, saying it wouldn’t be fair to Stacy and Harry after they’ve done so much work. He does give the kids a hint though; look for the little things for they hold big secrets. Mr. Conductor then disappears to practice his flute. Matt and Tanya go over to the ticket counter where Stacy and Harry are still stumped about the telegraph. Matt, remembering Mr. Conductor’s advice, looks down and sees a small break in the wire connecting the telegraph. Harry and Stacy are very impressed with the kids’ power of observation and sure enough, when Harry fixes the cable, the telegraph begins to receive messages again! Everyone cheers as Schemer returns, thinking he’s getting a big welcome. He decides to try his ‘cultured’ act on Harry and puts out his hand to shake. They shake and Schemer gets a jolt from the buzzer in his hand, because he was holding it backwards. Schemer then tries another prank, asking the kids to smell the squirting flower on his jacket, only to end up spraying water on himself. Schemer begins to lose interest in the practical jokes, saying that he’s not the sort of person people should be laughing at. Stacy comments that perhaps no one is. Schemer sheepishly agrees, and Stacy uses the moment to show Matt and Tanya that even someone like Schemer can learn a lesson. As all this has been going on, Tom has come back and the newly repaired telegraph receives a message that his train will be arriving in ten minutes. Schemer mentions that ten minutes is ample time for Tom to spend some money in the Jukebox. Matt and Tanya protest Schemer’s hard sell, so Schemer relents and puts his own nickel in the Jukebox. Inside, Didi asks what they will do with all the nickels they collect. Tex suggests having a big party, but Tito counters that life is a party and the nickels are staying put. Tex asks Tito when he started collecting nickels, and Tito recalls that it was back in ’57 during his first gig: the bandleader said ‘take five’ and Tito just never stopped! Didi says it’s time to stop talking and start playing, and the band plays its version of the song Tom played earlier. Tom accompanies the Jukebox by playing a pair of spoons and begins to teach Matt and Tanya how as well. Unfortunately Tom has to leave to catch his train, leaving Stacy to take over showing the children how to play the spoons. She offers to teach Schemer, but he says he’s got more important things to think about than spoons. As he mutters about soups spoons and music, he suddenly hits upon the brilliant idea of musical soup. As the episode comes to a close, Stacy and the children continue to practice their musical spoons as even Schemer begins to catch the rhythm. Characters * Mr. Conductor * Stacy * Schemer * Harry * Matt * Tanya * Tom Callinan * Edward (mentioned) * Gordon (mentioned) * Henry (mentioned) * James (mentioned) Thomas stories * A Cow on the Line * Old Iron Jukebox Band Song Segment * Poor Paddy Works on the Railway Trivia * The song "Poor Paddy Works on the Railway" is sung twice. * It is revealed that Tito started collecting nickels in 1957. Gallery ImpracticalJokestitlecard.png ImpracticalJokes 1-1305.png TomCallinan.jpg PoorPaddyWorksontheRailway1sungbyTomCallinan 100.png PoorPaddyWorksontheRailway1sungbyTomCallinan 105.png PoorPaddyWorksontheRailway1sungbyTomCallinan 109.png PoorPaddyWorksontheRailway1sungbyTomCallinan 114.png PoorPaddyWorksontheRailway1sungbyTomCallinan 119.png WestWindLimited.png|West Wind Limited Category:Episodes Category:Season 1